about the future - holding strong to the past

Today I was revisiting that old box that we all have with a bunch of old pictures that have been waiting a lifetime to be selected and put in order. Ain't gonna happen anytime soon. Anyways, I kept taking some pictures out and putting them on the side. These four were part of that pile. At this point in time, I find myself replying to the same questions over and over again: "what are you doing next? no boys? how does it feel to be graduated? what are your plans for next year?" - I would love to have answers to all of these, but I got to the point where I am absolutely fine about not having answers for them. However, after seeing these photos and putting them strategically in this order, I think from now on I will just say that I want to be like my mom. 

I believe I have accomplished step one. My youth years have been joyful, oh so happy, filled with adventures and passion and I smile the same way as she did. I have loved intensely, seen amazing things, travelled, and been blessed by so many loving friends. I have been so so so happy. 

I have kind of accomplished step two by taking the time to study the Bible and I'm so glad I did. I have heard Jesus calling me for ministry, the same way she did and I am so happy he has done that for me, even though I am not worthy of that call. She obeyed and followed her call and I pray the Lord will help me to obey and give me the same passionate heart for the lost and the church of Christ like she has. I am also pretty sure I am not done with full-time Bible study. Brace yourselves, I am going back to papers, exams and school life. 

Now, the two last steps, I have definitely not accomplished, but I dream about those and pray that the Lord will give me the opportunity to serve him as a wife and a mother. My mom is a faithful, loving, dedicated and servant wife. I love how she loves dad. I love how her love for dad changes for good everything she does in the house - how she cooks, cleans, does laundry and so on. She does all of this with such grace and love that blows me away, especially on the days that she is deadly tired, like for the last twenty three years. Now, I think this is my favourite part of her: I love how she mothers. She is my greatest role model. I love that she has set rules, disciplined, cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner, kept our home everyday cleaned and in order, and been an educator every moment of our days. I love seeing her pregnant pictures and how she never stopped caring for herself even with three girls under 5. I think she actually looks more beautiful every day that goes by. I love her sweet spirit, her smile and how her heart worries for her babies. I love everything about my mother. She has prayed for us, supported our decisions, helped us to become young ladies - potential godly wives and caring mothers. She has discipled us, discussed the Bible with us, and helped us to love and be involved in the church encouraging us to use our gifts and talents. I love how she has embraced her call to be a mother. Yes, she is a wife, yes, she is the pastor's wife, but her greatest call is being a mother and oh, how virtuous she is....how she has excelled. 

If I am half of what this amazing woman is, I think I would be ok. But because Jesus calls us for greatness, I pray I will never ever let her legacy and story die. I am so grateful for the way that you have fulfilled your call as a mother. I pray my generation will be as fervently committed to raising godly children and loving our husbands, the way you have in your own. I love you so much, my darling, my love.