the desert road

Hot, humid and bright... the vast sand makes it hard to keep walking on a straight path... the body is tired, fragile, fainting, desperate for the water that gives life. the day goes long and it seems like there is no end; and even at night, a restless soul in need of a savior. the desert road is tough and draws us to our knees. we lack the strength to keep walking...it seems like there is no end to the journey...there is just a vast horizon without no end. and there, in the hopeless desert road, Christ the desert Conqueror, breaking rivers, blossoming gardens full of trees and shade out of nothing in our broken soul...broken in many pieces like the sand of the desert. He was there...he was there before us...he knows every single step of the desert road...desperate, alone, tempted. But never afraid. Never failing, never giving up. In deep suffering and anguish. And there, in the desert, he invites us in...come, join me on the road of suffering, on the desert road. let your heart be broken by the heat of your humanness, let your heart be broken by your own brokenness and let me recreate it. Does your heart break? Why would the desert Conqueror lead me into the wilderness? because there I find myself. I find myself as a dearly loved child, adopted, belonging, together, restored, blossoming. On the desert road, I can breathe again, my heart breaks over and over again and blossoms as spring. On the desert road I meet his Spirit. I am no longer a slave of fear. I am a daughter of the desert Conqueror. He is doing a new thing - can you not perceive it? I see it with my eyes...I can hear him moving in the desert wind. I cry, Abba! Abba! Father! How long... The desert is mine and yours. How the heat of the desert road reminds me of the heat on your face in that last hour... you cried out, and I cry out... I could not breath, but now my heart is breaking. and it breaks, and it breaks, and it breaks and...

I am free! you lead me to the desert road so that I can breathe! you guide me in the wildness for your name's sake. It is in the barren road that I see you and your provision...I see the flowers and the rivers, the fountains breaking out of the sand, your abundance, your glory, your manna. Breaking fourth, glorious, powerful, forever, eternal!

My heart breaks...and is remade, breaks, and is remade. Because I am no longer a slave of fear...but a daughter...loved. You sent the Son to the desert road and now he sits at the right hand of the Father. You send me to the desert road and I live assured, adopted, in the expectation that one day I will enter into your eternal inheritance. In the meantime, I walk the desert road, side by side with my desert Conqueror, with the one who walked the road himself - the road of suffering, the desert road.