Trust and believe - the aftermath

Last Sunday in church my pastor (please let us all praise the Lord for my pastor because this man is a gift from heaven in this season of my life - sorry for the long parenthesis. This keeps getting longer but it is okay!) preached about the prodigal son. This Sunday he only preached about the moment when the son comes home and the father is like going nuts with all the hugs and party prep.

So on Monday I was just dwelling in this beautiful picture of love. I was drawn to tears just thinking about the love of God...uau...what a God. The Father has a heart full of compassion. His heart is soft towards sinners. God does not make us dwell in our sins. He receives us, just as we are. And I also came to my senses. Why would I doubt so frequently of this love? There is distrust in my heart... I have experienced brokenness caused by people... But had I projected that fear in the person of God? Somehow I did. I was thinking that God could fail me just like people have.

So I understood that my heart was not profoundly rooted in Christ. I was not grounded in trust and belief in the God that is unchanging. He is the Rock of Ages. He is an unshakable rock. His character does not change. His love for us does not change. I will not wake up one day and find that he is gone. That will never happen.

In the first part of my quiet time with God, I expressed all these questions above, and then the Lord prepared this feast before me.

For God alone my soul waits in silence; 

from him comes my salvation.

He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; 

I shall not be greatly shaken. 

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, 

for my hope is from him.

He only is my rock and my salvation, 

my fortress, I shall not be shaken.

On God rests my salvation and my glory; 

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people, 

pour out your heart before him; 

God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 62

And Revelation 1:8

I am the Alpha and the Omega, says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.

And I Peter 2:4-5:

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God, chosen and precious, your yourselves as living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

And also James 1:17

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

He alone is my rock and my fortress. I shall not be shaken. Trust in him because he is a rock, a fortress and a refuge. What a call to trust! He will not put me to shame, he will not lead me to paths of destruction. He will not make me stumble! He is the God who was, and is and is to come. He will never change!! He is the God without variation, no change nor shadow. He is also a living stone. He is not a dead rock. And we are being built as living stones in the same way. And those who are being built by him will not be put to shame. We are his holy priesthood, royalty, chosen people, belonging to him!

O Lord God, how can we distrust you?